even when you make me cry i still love you. i could never stop.

this post is for my babyboy.

after i felt so bad today that even my first post got just boring and had only things which didnt even spoke from or to my heart, i thought i'd be better off lying in my bed watching criminal minds, gossip girl and lol. than i skyped with my boy. and we got our things fixed up. i know i didnt actually talked about that but somehow we didnt speak for like a long time cause he was just being busy and pissed off that there is one boy here who actually likes me a lot and i got annoyed of him never being on fb anymore and didnt even feel like answering one of like a thousand messages i send. anyways he was working at night so we finally had time to talk. i didnt think that we would break up or something, never wasted a thought of that, but i was kinda afraid cause fixing a problem over distance is like the most complicated thing on earth. but we got it and in the end we were listening to music together and it almost felt like he was sitting next to me tickling my neck while reaching over for my keyboard to type in the name of the song he wants to listen to.

i know i've already wrote a lot but i just try to find words for what i'm feeling.

cause i really think that we have something special. i mean i dont know but is it normal that my heart beat is still running away when he calls me? after 3 years? 

i dont know what i would do without him.

i really mean every word i typed here.

philipp, i love you.

i love you for who i am when i'm with you. i love you for who you are. i love you for coming back to me. i love you for letting me go. i love you for calling me at night. i love you for holding me tight when i need it. i love you when you're driving you car. i love you when you're lying next to me. i love you even when you steal my blanket. i love you for no reason. i love you cause you turned my world upside down.

and when i read all these cute-boy-things like

i have to think of him and how i does it. and i smile cause when you have it you dont even realize how cute it is. but when you just read bout it you remember and it seems even cuter.

no matter what happens and no matter how far we are apart.

PINKY PROMISE

i hope - no - i know everyone will feel like this someday :)

i love you.